Sep 25

First day at school, 1 september…
The director calls the names of the students.

“Mustapha El Ekhzeri” -“Present”
“Achmed El Cabul” -“Present”
“Kadir Sel Ohlmi” -“Present”
“Mohammed Endahrha” -“Present”
“Ala In Ben Oit” Silence in the room.
“Ala In Ben Oit” The room remains quiet.
For the last time: “Ala In Ben Oit”.
Suddenly a boy on the last file in the room stands right and says against the director:
That is me, but you must pronounce it differently: Alain Benoit.

Propus de Mark

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Sep 05

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head “yes” and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head “no” and mumble a reply.

Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy,’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘You wanna sell that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year.'”

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Sep 05

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”
Margaret looked him over.. “Nope.”
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!”
“Nope”, she replied.
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.”

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Sep 05

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A

“Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
“A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

“Q. Where will the government get this money?
“A. From taxpayers.

“Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
“A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

“Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
“A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

“Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
“A. Shut up.”

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Sep 05

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife was talking with Madame deGaulle:
– Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?
– A penis, replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer… and no one knew what to say next. Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said:
– Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, “appiness”!

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Sep 05

On Vatican Church notice board and Press Release:
“Be all Women informed that lying in bed, naked, entangled with somebody and screaming:
* Oh my God! *
* Oh my God! *
* Oh my God! *
will not be considered PRAYING.”

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